I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
