i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
