he puts the penis in happiness.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize