no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize