remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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