as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
