Clothes are such an inconvenience.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
