how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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