just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
