Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
