My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
