oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
it's great music for shaving your balls
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
