weddingsv make me drug and hornr
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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