So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
