Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize