Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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