It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize