I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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