we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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