we're blogging at a bar
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
