I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
