I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize