I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize