I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
