her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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