He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
