Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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