Are we in a gay sports bar?
im holly from the hills drunk
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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