Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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