Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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