I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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