Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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