so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
