i think my tv is drunk
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
