I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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