Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
