STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
