So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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