big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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