I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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