Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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