you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
my shit smells like andre
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
