just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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