Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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