Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
