We named our party play list daddy issues
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
