So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize