Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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