My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
