only if we run a train.
done.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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