Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
