i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Terrible idea I love it
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
