Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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