Define "chronic" masturbator.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
