I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
