I wannas sexs uuuuu
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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