I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize