if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize