I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
