I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
